Friday, 24 October 2008

What kind of animal would you be?

It's one of those half arsed questions you sometimes hear and usually give a half arsed answer to. Many people reply to it with either something cuddly like a rabbit, or something at the top of the food chain like a shark or a tiger. But when you think into the problem would you really want to be any of those creatures?

Starting with the cute and cuddly. If you're not locked up in a cage as someones little entertaining prisoner, you're running for your life and when not running your paranoid of being spotted as you much your meal. And the bitch of it is that you will probably get the shit kicked out of you when your desperately trying to get laid.

It may seem better at the top when you get to choose the innocent victim that will constitute your next source of energy but when you think about it there are a lot of others doing the same. So when you have finally managed to wrestle the struggling, screaming chunk of meat to the ground, you have to then vigerously defend it from all those bastards who want to take advantage of all your hard work. And then there is the point of being ridiculed by the Homo sapain population for just trying to stay alive, or maybe they just like you either for your fur or the fact that you make a very expensive smug soup.
And still you get the shit kicked out of you when you feel the need to shoot DNA at the opposite sex.

These types of problems trouble my mind when i have nothing else useful to think about and then one day when i was browsing on youtube i realised that one animal possibly had the best and easyest of lives (better than parasites due to the fact that most people like these animals).
Look at the life of a Manatee, you have no natural predators, you spend all day swimming around munching on sea grass, occasionally have sex when you fell the time is right and if your really lucky you get to meet David Attenborough sometimes. The only thing you have to worry about is the occasional twat on a speed boat, but when that does happen no one bitches about it being the way of nature and the majority of people and genuinely on your side. The weight of the world doesn't bare on their shoulders and they don't even have to bare their own weight anymore, moving back to water was clearly the right move.

If I am delusional or clearly wrong please tell me so.

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